Tuesday 31 March 2015

Dear Stay @ Home Moms

Just be content or quit your whining.
Oh, the poor, exhausted stay-at-home!mother: her favourite lil black dress constantly covered in little people's various body fluids and her dreams of honeymooning throughout flushed down the toilet with her cell phone (courtesy of her toddler). The sad, resentful woman with a sink full of dirty dishes, a hamper full of dirty diapers, unhelpful husband and terribly naughty children.
Before you knock me off  and charge at me with sharp kitchen utensils because of that first controversial paragraph, please know that I, too, am a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), and surrounded by friends and family who are also SAHMs, so I have some authority on this subject.
I know what it's like to have a horrible day. I know what it's like to run a fever of 103, with the intense desire to sleep, and still have to burp people and try to block out the shrieking sound of screaming toddlers. I completely, utterly, wholly and thoroughly understand that being a SAHM is a stressful, selfless and never-ending job. I believe it is easier to solve calculus problems whilst under the influence of mind-altering drugs than it is to devote all of your time and energy to short people who rely on you for everything.
However. 
I am beyond sick and tired of hearing SAHMs complain about their long resume of "chef, maid, chauffeur and bookkeeper all rolled into one!" I, too, command all of those roles, and yet, I manage not to constantly sigh in disgust at my choice to care for my children or vent to anyone who will listen in the grocery store line about my unfulfilled life. 
I think it's time for the indignant SAHMs of the world to take one step up. Instead of complaining about how weary, exasperated and annoyed you are with caring for your children and your spouse, reconsider for a moment that you are one of the most privileged species on the planet. 
I have friends who choose to work and I have friends who must work. My friends who are required to clock in every day leave their children in the care of others while they solve the business world's problems. They duck out of meetings to take a call from caretaker and discover that the baby just said her first word or took his first step. They hang their heads at cluttered desks because they've missed so many precious milestones.
 I was sleep-deprived when I witnessed my daughter's first step, and her first plummet to the floor. Caretaker wasn't there. I was.
And I'm incredibly thankful for that.
I am thankful that I have the option of wearing my pajamas until noon. I am thankful that I don't have to answer to some sleazy boss.. I am thankful that I was the one to clean the baby diarrhea from the rug, to console colicky cries. Many of those things weren't easy, and they sure weren't fun, but I'm thankful that I experienced them.
To the SAHMs who can’t be thankful and instead view life at home with their children as one putrid event after another, I say this:
If you despise constantly being in the company of humans who drool, if you are completely unsatisfied and miserable and longing for a way out, then, pretty please with a cherry on top, get a job, volunteer, find a hobby, go out with the girls. Do SOMETHING.
Just stop knocking on your friends door with your greasy hair and your caffeine withdrawals and sit at the kitchen table and try to convince that your children are Satan's spawn and gripe that you had to clean all their shits everyday.

I'd just like to hear one of these SAHMs say to me, "I am so blessed. I have a faithful husband, gorgeous and healthy children, a beautiful home, and I am fortunate enough to stay home and enjoy my blessings." Just say that once per day to yourself instead of continually moaning about the dust accumulation on your furniture, your baby's constant mischieves, and unhelpful hubby.
Be happy and thank God for a wonderful life.

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